Written Oct. 15:
This morning as I drive to the Glen, the sky is a hazy pink. Just for a moment. Then a halfhearted streak of peach shows. As though it is trying for a glorious sunrise, but this is all it can manage today. There are too many clouds obscuring the sun. The sky is reflecting my mood.
Today is sad, and all I seem to manage is a half-smile. A smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. Fake-it-til-you-make-it isn’t quite working today. It doesn’t take much to bring me to tears, but I constantly fight for control over them, never wanting to let go, and therefore I have a headache. Buried grief will out, one way or another.
Why are you sad? you may ask… Mourning things lost – a life. A relationship never realized, and a hole in the family. My cousin died yesterday. And because of geography, mostly, but also our age difference, I never really knew him. He was just one of the many cousins that popped into my life when we went ‘back home’ for a visit. Just as I was, to him, a cousin that popped over every couple years with my Ohio family to say hi, how are ya. So I mourn… For his family and his friends – I know he was well loved, and will be sorely missed.