Hi there! Long time, no see – too long, don’t you think? I have wanted to call or email, somehow be in contact, but time slips by, and I forget. When I remember, I’m not in a place where I can chat. I’d love to just settle in and have coffee with you. Let you know that I miss you, and I want to hear about you. And I’d tell you a little of what’s been going on with me.
I would tell you this has been a difficult Autumn. Not so much in the every day, but in little ways and hidden struggles. Quite often, bearing grief that I do not always recognize. Our uncle died in August – we tend to forget that we need to grieve.The stress of grief not fully dealt with is very much a stressor. Struggling with uncertainty, even when the unknown is something longed for and anticipated. Our son is leaving for Boot Camp in December. The constant questions about what he’ll do and where he’ll go, while appreciated, emphasize to me the fact that we just don’t know. My job (one of them) is in flux, and though I know things will all work out, it is difficult to be there sometimes. It is hard, wondering if I am in the right place, or if I should bow out, even though I want to stay.The stress of uncertainty, even when considered manageable, is still a stressor. All these things and others – little things – have weighed on me these months.
I would tell you that I just sent my manuscript off to the editor, and this
scares the hell out of me relieves me no end! I know that I cannot do anything more with it without her help. I also know that it is not at my (admittedly high) standard of completion. Therefore, I worry. And I give it over with gratitude for the extra set of eyes.
I would tell you that I ran my first half-marathon in October. It was everything I thought it would be and more – more exciting, more thrilling, more fulfilling… Except it was less hard. I thought it would be hard, and it wasn’t. I had trained well, thanks to the support of my husband and a very dear friend. I’m already planning out a few races for next year. I’ve been well and truly bitten by the running bug.
I would tell you that I began NaNoWriMo in order to get a jumpstart on Book 3. I am looking forward to the results, whether I smash the 50K goal to bits, or barely make 25K words this month. I am just glad to have a goal.
I would tell you that Book 3 will be challenging, and I dread it, while at the same time I am compelled to write it. My heroine has darkness in her that I am loathe to discover. I know she needs me to tell her story. I know we will get through it together. I know that as dark as it may be, my family provides blessed light – I will be counting on them to bring me out of the darkness if I fall too far in.
I would tell you that I am delving into the Psalms again. I am desperate for the comfort and assurance that lies therein. God is and has been so Good. Sometimes, though, I need constant reminders of His promises. If not for me (though definitely for me!) then for Wynnie, my heroine.
I would tell you that I am proud of my kids! Girl is 1/4 the way through her senior year of high school, and she is doing well. Boy is working full-time while waiting for his ship date. I am proud. They are growing into beautiful, kind and generous adults. Often we look back to our childrens’ toddler years and think, those were the days. But these are the days! I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
I would tell you that I am singing, just a little. And I am glad for the outlet, even as I bemoan my unprepared state going into staging rehearsals. I find myself singing around the house – something I didn’t do for a few months – and enjoying the ‘just being’ of the voice. It is what it is. I am okay with it. (yes, I know, she’s lovely and beautiful, but in my constant struggle for perfection, I often see her as recalcitrant and mediocre. Poor la voce.)
That’s enough about me – I’ve talked too much. Tell me about you. I’m all ears!
Please do comment here, or drop me a note, call me or text me. I really do want to know how you are.
Thank you to Jackie Lea for this brilliant blog idea, one I intend to make repetitive use of for the foreseeable future.