If we were having coffee…

Hi there! Long time, no see – too long, don’t you think? I have wanted to call or email, somehow be in contact, but time slips by, and I forget. When I remember, I’m not in a place where I can chat. I’d love to just settle in and have coffee with you. Let you know that I miss you, and I want to hear about you. And I’d tell you a little of what’s been going on with me.

I would tell you this has been a difficult Autumn. Not so much in the every day, but in little ways and hidden struggles. Quite often, bearing grief that I do not always recognize. Our uncle died in August – we tend to forget that we need to grieve.The stress of grief not fully dealt with is very much a stressor. Struggling with uncertainty, even when the unknown is something longed for and anticipated. Our son is leaving for Boot Camp in December. The constant questions about what he’ll do and where he’ll go, while appreciated, emphasize to me the fact that we just don’t know. My job (one of them) is in flux, and though I know things will all work out, it is difficult to be there sometimes. It is hard, wondering if I am in the right place, or if I should bow out, even though I want to stay.The stress of uncertainty, even when considered manageable, is still a stressor. All these things and others – little things – have weighed on me these months.

I would tell you that I just sent my manuscript off to the editor, and this scares the hell out of me relieves me no end! I know that I cannot do anything more with it without her help. I also know that it is not at my (admittedly high) standard of completion. Therefore, I worry. And I give it over with gratitude for the extra set of eyes.

I would tell you that I ran my first half-marathon in October. It was everything I thought it would be and more – more exciting, more thrilling, more fulfilling… Except it was less hard. I thought it would be hard, and it wasn’t. I had trained well, thanks to the support of my husband and a very dear friend. I’m already planning out a few races for next year. I’ve been well and truly bitten by the running bug.

I would tell you that I began NaNoWriMo in order to get a jumpstart on Book 3. I am looking forward to the results, whether I smash the 50K goal to bits, or barely make 25K words this month. I am just glad to have a goal.

I would tell you that Book 3 will be challenging, and I dread it, while at the same time I am compelled to write it. My heroine has darkness in her that I am loathe to discover. I know she needs me to tell her story. I know we will get through it together. I know that as dark as it may be, my family provides blessed light – I will be counting on them to bring me out of the darkness if I fall too far in.

I would tell you that I am delving into the Psalms again. I am desperate for the comfort and assurance that lies therein. God is and has been so Good. Sometimes, though, I need constant reminders of His promises. If not for me (though definitely for me!) then for Wynnie, my heroine.

I would tell you that I am proud of my kids! Girl is 1/4 the way through her senior year of high school, and she is doing well. Boy is working full-time while waiting for his ship date. I am proud. They are growing into beautiful, kind and generous adults. Often we look back to our childrens’ toddler years and think, those were the days. But these are the days! I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

I would tell you that I am singing, just a little. And I am glad for the outlet, even as I bemoan my unprepared state going into staging rehearsals. I find myself singing around the house – something I didn’t do for a few months – and enjoying the ‘just being’ of the voice. It is what it is. I am okay with it. (yes, I know, she’s lovely and beautiful, but in my constant struggle for perfection, I often see her as recalcitrant and mediocre. Poor la voce.)

That’s enough about me – I’ve talked too much. Tell me about you. I’m all ears!
Please do comment here, or drop me a note, call me or text me. I really do want to know how you are.

Thank you to Jackie Lea for this brilliant blog idea, one I intend to make repetitive use of for the foreseeable future.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “If we were having coffee…

  1. thanks for the info April. Next time I am in town we should get together for coffee for real.
    If we were having coffee now I would tell you…

    I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties. Death can overwhelm us and you are so right about NEEDING to grieve. Give yourself that permission to do so and don’t judge your length of grief time with others. We all grieve differently. Mrs. Bennett gave me a grief shaw from the church with a note about grief, and it did me wonders when my mom died.

    I would tell you… My whole year has been a big roller coaster. Death and Happiness and Fun and Sadness. You know of my mom’s death. I just found out my favorite clown in the world is quitting treatment for cancer and will probably die before Christmas. This gives me great grief. Maybe even more than my mom. But I had a fabulous summer working at summer camp in the mountains with folks who have disabilities. They make me laugh and give me great strength. Some of the pain and hardship they have had to endure pales in comparison to mine.

    I would tell you… my trip to France in September was AMAZING. Yoga everyday, cooking classes every day, visiting medieval villages and castles, bike rides in the countryside of S. France, and much much more.

    I would tell you… I have a girlfriend. Her name is Connie. She is a nurse and we actually work together. She is amazing with the kiddos!! We have a lot of fun together, including hiking, kayaking and traveling.

    i would tell you I am trying to write a Children’s Book. I have written a couple of drafts and have a consultant working with me. Currently I am stuck, and busy, so hope to work on it more after I get my annual newsletter done.

    I would tell you… I am excited to read your 2nd novel. PLEASE let me know when it is published.

    I would tell you… Psalms 23 is extremely powerful! Even more so to me now after my mom’s death. In case you didn’t read it, I would recommend reading my blog post on her death.
    http://www.yourdalyhug.blogspot.com “Mother’s are special” post.

    I would tell you… I appreciate your writings. To tell Mike I said hello and I look forward to a time we can all get together again for some laughs. Hoping your daughter joins us as well.

    With Love and Laughter, Rodney

    1. Rodney, your comments never fail to touch me with their sincerity and warmth! Thank you for all the return information – it is so good to catch up in this little way. 🙂 Yes! We will have coffee next time you’re in town, and Mike, Sophie and I will look forward to it.
      I did read your post about your mom – I will re-read it though, because the details escape me. Spring seems a long time ago.
      Take care, my friend, and we’ll see you – hopefully soon! ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s